and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
