Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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