I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
