You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
