all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
