bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
