2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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