he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He shit in the fireplace
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
