I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize