I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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