Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize