I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I did not marry a roomba.
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