she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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