I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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