why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
