Do you still have your period?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
