When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
