If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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