somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
