i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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