an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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