I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
