I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
