If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
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When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
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BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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