help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize