I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
