Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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