i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
