Having a random hookup so left but love u
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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