do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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