Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
