Im at strip club and am horny
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
