Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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