It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize