Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
