Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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