respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
