Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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