look no pants
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
