just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
