Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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