so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
