I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
