how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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