Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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