i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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