I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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