i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
