He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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