You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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