Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
