in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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