Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
