He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
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Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
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I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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