If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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