ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
