Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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