Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
