YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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