Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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