My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
